[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” specialty=”off”][et_pb_fullwidth_header _builder_version=”3.0.92″ title=”#throwback” subhead=”Feb 23, 2018 | Relationships” text_orientation=”left” header_fullscreen=”off” header_scroll_down=”off” image_orientation=”center” background_layout=”dark” content_orientation=”center” custom_button_two=”off” button_two_icon_placement=”right” custom_button_one=”off” button_one_icon_placement=”right” background_image=”https://truestoryproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/throwback-image.jpg” background_overlay_color=”rgba(38,38,38,0.32)” custom_padding=”200px||200px|” /][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”off” specialty=”off”][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_layout=”light”]
One of the team at the True Story Project interviewed a couple, ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’, who have been married for over 20 years! They’ve been Christians for absolutely ages and Jesus has played the biggest part in their story together right from the start. We asked them a bunch of questions about their experience of dating, marriage and any advice they thought would be helpful for young people to hear.
How have relationships changed from when you started dating to now? Are there any big differences? If so, what would you say is a helpful way to deal with these differences?
Eve: The big difference between then and now is social media – we only had phone calls and letters!
Adam: Yes, absolutely. As a result, we see a different intensity these days in relationships. If you aren’t responding to that message then that person might not you think you care! There is this crazy intensity about it. I don’t know how you quite deal with that, but before you are committing to a person it’s really important to make sure you know where you are with them.
Eve: That’s the key, there is a natural heightening of intensity when you’ve committed yourself and when you decide that this is the route you want to go down. Until you get to that point, it’s probably not best to feed intensity through social media. Practically, I think it means that communication probably shouldn’t be all day, every day.
What sort of things did you look for in a partner? What would you say to others looking for a partner?
Eve: A really important thing for us has been our friendship. Especially on a spiritual level as well.
Adam: Relationships that grow out of friendship have strengths to it. First and foremost, you know you get on and that’s a massive help!
Eve: Aside from friendship, sharing similar life-goals was really helpful for us. If you are marrying someone who doesn’t share your life goal it’s going to cause problems.
Adam: That’s why Paul says don’t get unevenly yoked with non-believers. It’s not just a life goal that is different, it’s the fundamental purpose of what your life is. Life is about growing in God, enjoying him, pursuing him and trying to honour him with our lives, if that isn’t what your shared goal is then it’ll be difficult for you.
Eve: That’s where we were at and how we always felt, and it becomes and underpinning strength to your relationship. So whatever else is going on, that’s where you are always at. To be frank, if you don’t have a shared Christian worldview and a love for Jesus – even if that person says they are a Christian – there is a sense of being unequally yoked.
Adam: You want to find someone who shares the same spiritual passions, has a heart for people, has a desire to pursue God’s ways, a real love for his word, and all those kinds of things. That makes a big difference.
What would you say to someone who is in a relationship i.e. what should they work towards, and how should they work towards it?
Eve: Well the process different for everyone. We were friends for a year before we got to the point where we both realised there was something more than just feelings of friendship. At that point we had a conversation about dating and decided that we were going to date with a view to get married. So it was always in our minds that we would be getting married.
Adam: We also did pray together quite early on that God would close the door if he didn’t want this.
Eve: It’s different for different people. It depends on your age, background, whether you have become a Christian later in life etc…, all of that makes a difference in how you approach things.
Adam: It’s a really interesting conversation to have as friends, “what is this person’s perspective on marriage and the purpose of it?” It sounds bizarre, but why not? Why not want to understand where that person is at in terms of what they think life is about and what marriage is for. If you are lined up on those things then you can both be working towards it together.
Eve: I think then it’s a case of making sure your relationship has a foundation that is about the Lord. Also, that you are praying together and talking together. I guess everyone moves towards it at their own speed. For us it was relatively quick.
Finally, You have spoken a lot about prayer and seeking God, what does that look like day-to-day?
Eve: For me it was important to have somebody who was initiating our reading God’s word together and asking how I was doing spiritually. If he wasn’t looking out for me spiritually, then alarm bells would be going! It’s also important to remember that that dynamic is going to look different for different people.
Adam: There is a kindred spirit there, I would say over the years Eve has been the bedrock for me spiritually – you are more spiritual than I am. And that has been a keeping and helping hand for me. We are both different in the way we go about our Christian lives, but we just had a massive compatibility of a heart towards what we want.
Eve: That’s the key thing. It not a checklist of when and where you have been asked about your spiritual health. We just used to talk about the Lord all the time! You can tell in their conversation that they are excited about Jesus. Either He is in your conversation because he’s in your heart and that’s what life is about for you, or he is on the periphery.
Thanks for taking the time out to chat to us and for sharing a bit of your story and perspective on this big topic!
It was so amazing to speak to this couple and really have the chance to discover how Jesus plays the biggest part in their relationship. There is a lot of wisdom in sitting and listening to those who have gone before us and walked a path we have not. Here at the ‘True Story Project’ we really value these moments to talk and hear about the actual effect that Jesus has in people’s lives. We believe Jesus is not a story or a fictional character. He is someone who is alive and real, and who wants a relationship with you!
What’s your take on relationships? Do you agree with Adam and Eve’s perspective? What would be the advice you would give?
Let us know – email, comment, or message us! If you found this helpful, go ahead and share with your friends!
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