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Honestly, I was never obsessed with having a boyfriend or being in a relationship. I was always aware that it probably would happen one day, but it didn’t feature on my priority list. My parents separated when I was 15 and I wanted to make sure that it would never happen to me. I wanted to be 100% sure on my future partner. As a Christian teenager I was told that I needed to pray for my future partner, so I did. The problem was that I didn’t really know what I was doing. All I wanted was someone to love me and treat me well, which makes sense right? But I didn’t take into consideration what God wanted.
In my late teens I started dating a few guys and too quickly became romantically involved with them. On top of that, my relationship with God wasn’t great. I was angry and hurt by my parent’s mistakes and that made me crave intimacy. I was once praying about this guy I was seeing, and I remember so vividly God telling me ‘No, get out!’. However, I was so angry with God that I didn’t listen and continued on with the relationship. In the end, I wound up hurt and even more broken than I already was. This process was became the same old story, repeating itself until I finally encountered the love of God.
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Have you ever heard the phrase ‘Smile, Jesus Loves You!’? I know I have a million times, but I never really understood the extent of what it meant to be fully loved by Him. When I was seventeen I attended a conference my church ran, and there I encountered the love of Jesus for the first time. I had a vision of God walking into my life and physically hugging me. His love was too powerful that I couldn’t hold myself for long. It was then I finally understood the song ‘How He Loves’ which has that powerful verse ‘He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy’. The “same old process” came to and end and since then I’ve been just falling in love with and discovering new depths of intimacy with my Father. Because of this new intimacy I was no longer this needy, hurt, little girl but instead someone who understood that she had a Father who only wanted what was best for her.
So then, fast forward a few years later to when I met my now fiancé. This time was completely different. We were two people who were staying in our lanes, running after Jesus who brought us together. For the first time, I could see that God was at the centre and leading us closer, but always leading each other to Him. Trust me, it’s not always been easy – where love is there must be a sacrifice of yourself just like Jesus gave himself on the cross. But God is a good, good father and we are on the most incredible journey of love with Him. So even when it’s tough, by keeping Him at the centre, I’ve learnt to trust Him in everything because He loves me more than I could ever know.
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Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
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You said you and your fiancé were ‘staying in your lanes’. What does that mean?
Hebrews 12:1-2 says about how we should run our race that is set before us looking unto Jesus. If you have ever ran a race then you know that need to keep in your lane so you don’t knock into other people. We were staying in our lanes, running towards Jesus.
What is the point in relationships?
Firstly, your overall happiness shouldn’t be the point in your relationships. You have to be happy without each other first. My fiancé and I would be perfectly happy without each other but God brought us together for a reason. I guess the point then would be to be a help to each other to accomplish God’s work together.
I feel like I’m unsure about a relationship. How do I know what God wants?
It’s simple really, just pray and ask God. If that is too simple then do what I did: Before my fiancé and I got together I prayed for a long time and I asked God to close the door and shut down the relationship if it was wrong. He didn’t, but instead I saw incredible growth and favour on us together. Just be cautious and not get too involved emotionally until you have the go ahead from God, He knows what’s best for you!
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Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
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You said you and your fiancé were ‘staying in your lanes’. What does that mean?
Hebrews 12:1-2 says about how we should run our race that is set before us looking unto Jesus. If you have ever ran a race then you know that need to keep in your lane so you don’t knock into other people. We were staying in our lanes, running towards Jesus.
What is the point in relationships?
Firstly, your overall happiness shouldn’t be the point in your relationships. You have to be happy without each other first. My fiancé and I would be perfectly happy without each other but God brought us together for a reason. I guess the point then would be to be a help to each other to accomplish God’s work together.
I feel like I’m unsure about a relationship. How do I know what God wants?
It’s simple really, just pray and ask God. If that is too simple then do what I did: Before my fiancé and I got together I prayed for a long time and I asked God to close the door and shut down the relationship if it was wrong. He didn’t, but instead I saw incredible growth and favour on us together. Just be cautious and not get too involved emotionally until you have the go ahead from God, He knows what’s best for you!
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”off” specialty=”off”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.92″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” include_categories=”35893,35898″ show_more=”on” show_author=”off” show_pagination=”off” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ header_font=”|300|||||||” header_font_size=”22px” header_line_height=”1.3em” custom_padding=”|||” saved_tabs=”all” show_content=”off” show_thumbnail=”on” show_date=”on” show_categories=”on” show_comments=”on” use_dropshadow=”off” use_overlay=”off” background_layout=”light” pagination_font_size_tablet=”51″ pagination_line_height_tablet=”2″ posts_number=”3″]
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