Mental Health

Help Me

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[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he last few years I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. I’ve always been the sort of person who keeps my feelings to myself, masking them from everyone — even those closest to me. Recently, however, things got to the point where I couldn’t contain the way I felt. I couldn’t hide it anymore. I couldn’t deal with it myself. I had to seek help and admit that I was struggling…

God. The obvious help right? Yet, he felt distant. In the midst of anxiety and depression people can easily feel distant. My relationship with God was no different. In just the same way that I made a conscious decision to reach out to those around me to ask for help, I had to do the same with God. To draw near to him, to be honest with him, and choose to trust him in faith believing that he is good and loves me.

People. God’s given me wonderful people and I’m so thankful for those that love me. I had a choice to make — do I reach out and be honest and vulnerable with them, or do I put on a mask? I was so reluctant to be honest and vulnerable with people. It was a humbling experience. It was a real challenge at first, but then I realised that God had provided these people as tangible expression of his love towards me. They could wipe away my tears, comfort me, and walk through it all with me – it was like he was right there with me.

Circumstances. These have had a large impact on my depression and anxiety. For me, it was so easy to base my identity on what I could and couldn’t do. I found it really difficult to be unable to do all the things I loved and unable to do the things I felt God had called me to do. However, its been eye opening to see how I have wrongly placed my worth and identity in what I can do as opposed to who I am in God’s eyes. Whether I can take on the world or can’t even get out of bed, I’m learning that my worth and identity is fixed in God, not in how I feel or what I can or cannot do.

My anxiety and depression has taught me so much about my need for a Saviour and God’s goodness and love. Though often hard to understand and difficult to deal with I know that I can always look to him for my help.

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12b

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