[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.47″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]
I have all sorts of different friends. I also have all sorts of different friendships. Some are really deep and meaningful, others are more just because we have similar interests and find each other funny. I’ve grown up with great friends around me, so I haven’t had to worry too much about what people might think of me.
In fact, I had never thought much about expectations from friends until I went to university. This meant gaining a whole heap of new friends. I enjoy meeting new people, so after the initial ‘fear of the unknown’ it was exciting. This also meant trying to navigate all sorts of new and different expectations.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_fullwidth_image src=”https://truestoryproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Friends-wide.jpg” _builder_version=”3.0.92″]
[/et_pb_fullwidth_image][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_position=”bottom_center” custom_padding=”54px|0px|20px|0px”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.92″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]
As a Christian, there were expectations placed upon me that I had never really experienced before. Most of my new friends had never lived with someone who took God seriously. So many of their expectations were based on presumptions about what they thought a ‘Christian’ was. These presumptions meant that I was expected to behave particular ways, to say certain things, and do specific things.
To be honest, their expectations weren’t always that far off: I didn’t get drunk, I went to church, and I prayed. But I did have a whole different approach to what they expected. I wasn’t doing those things out of duty or because I wanted to be a good person, but rather because I actually wanted to do them. I didn’t look down on my friends or see myself as any better, I just had a real relationship with God that shaped the way that I lived.
It’s not always so straightforward. Often I’ve made the mistake of putting on a mask and trying to meet expectations. But instead of helping people see Jesus, all I’m really doing is showing people a reflection of their own expectations. Sometimes expectations have arrived in the form of peer-pressure. That’s always a tough one to navigate. However, the challenge is not to feel as if I though I have to meet expectations, but rather just live day-to-day in faith, being the person that God has created me to be.
Expectations aren’t always negative things. It turns out that expectations provide great opportunities to challenge presumptions and show people an authentic love for Jesus and, most importantly, his love for them. In short, every expectation is an opportunity for authenticity. I’ve found that living authentically helps others best see the reality of God. Authentic living is not about fitting in, its about responding uniquely as an individual to what God has done for me. It’s about living life honestly and transparently, not trying to hide my flaws, but rather living in response to his love and grace.
Living authentically has has allowed me to challenge the way people view God without even saying anything. This has led to so many great opportunities to represent and explain God’s love and desire for relationship. Actions speak louder words. So when people have seen the reality of the Gospel in my day-to-day life, it begins to make sense to them in a way that they and myself could never have ever imagined.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.92″][et_pb_row disabled_on=”on|on|off” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#ffffff” background_color_gradient_end=”#25b2b3″ background_color_gradient_direction=”270deg” background_color_gradient_start_position=”53%” background_color_gradient_end_position=”0%” background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” module_alignment=”left”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_text background_layout=”dark” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ text_font_size=”40px” text_line_height=”1.2em” custom_margin=”|20px||130px” custom_padding=”|20px||”]
Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.63)” custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px”]
What is the balance in witnessing through actions or words?
‘Witnessing’ is funny Christian term, I think it basically means to ‘represent’. We talk about it a lot as an action – i.e. something we do. But in the New Testament, the book of Acts records Jesus as saying “…You will be my witnesses…” (Acts 1:8). For Jesus then, “witnessing” isn’t something you do, instead, it’s something that you are. I don’t think it’s a matter of doing a bit of one thing, and a little of the other. Instead, I think every area of your life should be a response to the amazing news of Jesus, and so every area of your life bears witness to this.
Practically, people are all different – and it’s important to respect that. Some love to chat, others don’t really want to. So I suppose it’s about finding what is right for that moment.
I also think it’s important to recognise that actions and words are both as important as the other. Just because you aren’t verbally explaining the Gospel doesn’t mean that you can’t express it through your actions.
I want to be genuine, but sometimes it’s super difficult.
Yes, its a real challenge! Loads of things make this tricky, particularly because it’s easy to focus too much on what others think, or I feel others won’t like me if I’m genuine. Personally, I find that daily reorientation of my identity in Jesus through God’s Word and prayer really helps me work this out in practice each day.
How do you deal with toxic expectations from friends?
Tricky questions… Friends are so important and when they throw ‘toxic expectations’ your way it can be difficult to deal with. One thing I do is remind myself of who I am in Jesus, again, through reading his Word and prayer.
Another key thing to do is to respond with humility and love. Toxic expectations aren’t always intentional – so it’s a great opportunity to show how much Jesus means to you through your response.
Every situation is different, and if the toxic expectations are intentional, then maybe it’s right to speak up. Just remember who you are in Christ and the eternal value of this identity, as opposed to the temporary value of trying to match expectations.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_color_gradient_direction=”270deg” background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” module_alignment=”center”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″ text_font_size=”40px” text_text_color=”#25b2b3″ text_line_height=”1.2em” custom_margin=”|20px||20px” custom_padding=”|20px||” header_font=”||||||||”]
Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_color=”rgba(255,255,255,0.63)” custom_padding=”20px|20px|20px|20px”]
What is the balance in witnessing through actions or words?
‘Witnessing’ is funny Christian term, I think it basically means to ‘represent’. We talk about it a lot as an action – i.e. something we do. But in the New Testament, the book of Acts records Jesus as saying “…You will be my witnesses…” (Acts 1:8). For Jesus then, “witnessing” isn’t something you do, instead, it’s something that you are. I don’t think it’s a matter of doing a bit of one thing, and a little of the other. Instead, I think every area of your life should be a response to the amazing news of Jesus, and so every area of your life bears witness to this.
Practically, people are all different – and it’s important to respect that. Some love to chat, others don’t really want to. So I suppose it’s about finding what is right for that moment.
I also think it’s important to recognise that actions and words are both as important as the other. Just because you aren’t verbally explaining the Gospel doesn’t mean that you can’t express it through your actions.
I want to be genuine, but sometimes it’s super difficult.
Yes, its a real challenge! Loads of things make this tricky, particularly because it’s easy to focus too much on what others think, or I feel others won’t like me if I’m genuine. Personally, I find that daily reorientation of my identity in Jesus through God’s Word and prayer really helps me work this out in practice each day.
How do you deal with toxic expectations from friends?
Tricky questions… Friends are so important and when they throw ‘toxic expectations’ your way it can be difficult to deal with. One thing I do is remind myself of who I am in Jesus, again, through reading his Word and prayer.
Another key thing to do is to respond with humility and love. Toxic expectations aren’t always intentional – so it’s a great opportunity to show how much Jesus means to you through your response.
Every situation is different, and if the toxic expectations are intentional, then maybe it’s right to speak up. Just remember who you are in Christ and the eternal value of this identity, as opposed to the temporary value of trying to match expectations.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.92″ custom_padding=”54px|0px|0px|0px”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.92″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” include_categories=”35893″ show_more=”on” show_author=”off” show_pagination=”off” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ header_font=”|300|||||||” header_font_size=”22px” header_line_height=”1.3em” custom_padding=”|||” saved_tabs=”all” show_content=”off” show_thumbnail=”on” show_date=”on” show_categories=”off” show_comments=”off” use_dropshadow=”off” use_overlay=”off” background_layout=”light” pagination_font_size_tablet=”51″ pagination_line_height_tablet=”2″]
[/et_pb_blog][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
