[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.47″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]There’s a lot that could be said. In reality, it was just really sad and hurtful. I had been betrayed and I felt like everything I had worked so hard to fix had just come crumbling down.
Part of my problem is that I don’t let things go easily. This should have ended months earlier, and yet here I was at the end of a long, broken process still trying to make things work. I don’t know why it took me so long to let go. Maybe it was my pride, maybe I felt like it was my duty. In my mind, if I could just fix things and take her out of her situation then it would all be okay – it would have this fairytale ending. Then life would really begin and the doubters would be proved wrong.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_fullwidth_image src=”https://truestoryproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Breakup-wide.jpg” _builder_version=”3.0.92″][/et_pb_fullwidth_image][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.47″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]The real problem was that we were both broken people trying to make each other our escape. I had built up this idea in my mind that I was her only hope for something better. So when things got rough I felt like it was my duty to forgive, and I did. It’s just those feelings of betrayal were never properly dealt with and eventually our relationship became a spiralling cycle of suspicion and doubt. Then, it was all over.
My family and my friends supported me, but really they were all relieved. Even I felt a burden had been lifted. The months after were long and often times confusing. I was left with a lot of questions. Was it my fault? Did I try to hold on for too long? What had I wasted? Where was God in all this? I spent a lot of time talking things through and reflecting. This was painful and at times overwhelming, but it was also immensely healing. I began to realise that I had been so consumed by this relationship that I had sidelined God. For too long my priorities centred around me and my relationship, instead of around God and his love for me. In seeking a temporary love, I had lost sight of the eternal love of God.
At one point I just stopped. I held everything I had with open hands and asked him to have it all. The thing is with God is that he faithful. Looking back I realised that even when I had sidelined him, he was still there waiting to catch me when I fell, waiting to fix me when I was broken. He works all things together for good. His timing is perfect.
A broken heart sewn back together by the Father leaves no trace of the stitching. He is in the business of complete restoration. I was a new creation. My relationships changed for the better. I could be honest and real with people. I began to regain quality time with my friends. Within a matter of weeks a close friend faced a long, difficult personal situation and I could be there for him, and he could be there for me. I also began to be more open and vulnerable with family about how I felt and that was such a relief to the emotional load I had been trying to bear myself. I had time to pursue God. I read the Bible through for the first time and fell completely in love with God again – it was like I had been reborn. My whole perspective on life shifted towards one where God was at the centre.
The year after became the most transformative and important year of my life. I learnt new things about myself and other people. I dealt with the pain and hurt. I found a love for prayer and Scripture. I began to better navigate my own personal challenges. I started to understand the importance of putting God first. I became determined to hold my life out with open hands. I learnt a dependence and trust in Him that I otherwise would never have known.
There is no easy route for breakups. They are deeply sad and painful. But God gives us reason to hope. There is no limit to his faithfulness. There are no constraints to his love.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.92″][et_pb_row disabled_on=”on|on|off” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_start=”#ffffff” background_color_gradient_end=”#25b2b3″ background_color_gradient_direction=”270deg” background_color_gradient_start_position=”53%” background_color_gradient_end_position=”0%” background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” module_alignment=”left”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text background_layout=”dark” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ text_font_size=”40px” text_line_height=”1.2em” custom_margin=”|20px||100px” custom_padding=”|20px||”]Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]What if I have really messed up and hurt someone?
I guess it depends on the situation and how you’ve wronged them. It’s important to be humble and recognise that your mistakes can have some big consequences. Sometimes you just have to humbly accept the consequences and respect their way of resolving the issue, even if it’s not what you want. Ask God for wisdom, be genuinely repentant, seek forgiveness and reconciliation if possible, give them the time to figure out what they want to do, and also respect their decision on what they feel is the right next step.
I am very hurt from a previous relationship how do I deal with it?
There is no easy answer to this and hurt is not something that goes away quickly. Often it can be easy to keep it to yourself, but doing that just makes it worse. I think though that there are steps you can take which make this easier. Practically, I think a lot of relief comes from being vulnerable with people that you trust. So talk to God about it – He knows what rejection, betrayal and hurt feels like. Find a good friend who will listen and help you work through what’s happened and how you are feeling. Also write down your feelings so that they are there in front of you on paper – this should give you some clarity needed to navigate your feelings.
I also think perspective/hindsight is super helpful. Hindsight and perspective go hand in hand, and personally, after time, gaining some perspective was really helpful in dealing with hurt. Perspective gives you a look at the big picture. It helps you see how God is faithful and in control and what he’s been doing in you. God has great plans for you and perspective enables you to see them a little clearer. In all the emotional turmoil and hurt, knowing that God had a purpose and a plan really gave me peace. Sanctus Real in their song “Whatever You’re Doing” sum it up nicely:
“Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly”
How can I get the healing you mentioned?
Again, there is no blueprint to this, but there is one thing that really helps. God has made us to be relational, and so when a relationship becomes broken it’s really sad and painful. But God has also first and foremost designed us to be in relationship with him. So that’s where I would turn to first – put your heart, soul and mind into your relationship with him. Take time to pray and read his Word, learn to delight in and treasure Him. God alone provides real joy and true satisfaction. From personal experience, He brings a deep healing that nothing and nobody else can bring.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.
He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.”
Psalm 147:3-5
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”3.0.92″ background_color_gradient_direction=”270deg” background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” module_alignment=”center”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″ text_font_size=”40px” text_text_color=”#25b2b3″ text_line_height=”1.2em” custom_margin=”|||0px” custom_padding=”|20px||”]Interview
Deeper: The Backstory
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.0.92″]What if I have really messed up and hurt someone?
I guess it depends on the situation and how you’ve wronged them. It’s important to be humble and recognise that your mistakes can have some big consequences. Sometimes you just have to humbly accept the consequences and respect their way of resolving the issue, even if it’s not what you want. Ask God for wisdom, be genuinely repentant, seek forgiveness and reconciliation if possible, give them the time to figure out what they want to do, and also respect their decision on what they feel is the right next step.
I am very hurt from a previous relationship how do I deal with it?
There is no easy answer to this and hurt is not something that goes away quickly. Often it can be easy to keep it to yourself, but doing that just makes it worse. I think though that there are steps you can take which make this easier. Practically, I think a lot of relief comes from being vulnerable with people that you trust. So talk to God about it – He knows what rejection, betrayal and hurt feels like. Find a good friend who will listen and help you work through what’s happened and how you are feeling. Also write down your feelings so that they are there in front of you on paper – this should give you some clarity needed to navigate your feelings.
I also think perspective/hindsight is super helpful. Hindsight and perspective go hand in hand, and personally, after time, gaining some perspective was really helpful in dealing with hurt. Perspective gives you a look at the big picture. It helps you see how God is faithful and in control and what he’s been doing in you. God has great plans for you and perspective enables you to see them a little clearer. In all the emotional turmoil and hurt, knowing that God had a purpose and a plan really gave me peace. Sanctus Real in their song “Whatever You’re Doing” sum it up nicely:
“Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly”
How can I get the healing you mentioned?
Again, there is no blueprint to this, but there is one thing that really helps. God has made us to be relational, and so when a relationship becomes broken it’s really sad and painful. But God has also first and foremost designed us to be in relationship with him. So that’s where I would turn to first – put your heart, soul and mind into your relationship with him. Take time to pray and read his Word, learn to delight in and treasure Him. God alone provides real joy and true satisfaction. From personal experience, He brings a deep healing that nothing and nobody else can bring.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.
He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.”
Psalm 147:3-5
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.0.47″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_blog fullwidth=”off” posts_number=”3″ include_categories=”35893,35898″ show_more=”on” show_author=”off” show_comments=”on” show_pagination=”off” offset_number=”0″ _builder_version=”3.0.92″ header_font=”|300|||||||” header_font_size=”22px” header_line_height=”1.3em” pagination_font_size_tablet=”51″ pagination_line_height_tablet=”2″ custom_padding=”|||” saved_tabs=”all”]
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